Defining the Relationship
"Miss independent,
Miss self-sufficient,
Miss keep your distance..."
Haven't heard those lyrics by Kelly Clarkson?
(Yeah, it's been awhile since she released that song in 2003.)
We probably know someone who thrives as an independent, I'll-do-it-my-way-thank-you-very-much kinda person... Most of the time, we tend to celebrate the self-made person, the independent thinker, the rise-to-the-top kind of hard worker... but is that the picture Jesus gave us in Scripture?
In John 15:5, Jesus defined our relationship **with Him** using one word—dependent.
He said, “I am the vine, and you are the branches. WITHout me, you can’t do anything.”
That’s a definitive statement—no lack of clarity there.
“In the same way a branch is useless without the vine, in the same way you’re useless apart from me.”
The branch springs from the vine,
the branch originates from the vine,
the branch receives life and sustenance from the vine.
The branch would not exist apart from the vine.
That’s the nature of our relationship **WITH** Jesus. We are utterly dependent upon Him.
Does that kind of relationship sound attractive? Is that something we desire?
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, we often see dependency as being unhealthy. The relationships where one person relies so heavily on another, resulting in a loss of their sense of identity and their ability to make their own decisions, are dangerous, aren’t they?
Dependent relationships aren’t necessarily bad; from their birth, children depend on their parents for food, clothing and shelter. Infants are absolutely helpless, and even into elementary ages, children are still in need of their parents for basic necessities of life. During the teen and adolescent years, parents teach their children how to become self-sufficient adults, but teens aren’t usually completely independent until they can make enough money to provide for their needs.
That’s the design—a good relationship finds infants, children, teens, and adolescents dependent on their families for many years.
What’s the difference between the bad-dependent relationship and the good-dependent kind of relationship?
Unhealthy dependent-relationships force us to find our identity in another fallen person (or people) and to make our decisions their way for their benefit or preference.
Oppositely, our parent-child relationship gives us identity, and makes decisions for us for our good, and offers us autonomy as we’re able to handle our own decisions…
Even more, our Christ-centered, Vine-and-the-Branches relationship acknowledges our human weakness, our brokenness, and offers us life, strength, and purpose in Jesus. In Him, the Vine, we not only find identity, belonging and purpose, but we also find power to accomplish more than we could ever imagine.
NO relationship on earth can offer what The Vine can offer us—not even our parents.
ASK THIS:
Do you know someone in a dependent relationship? Who depends upon whom in that relationship? Is that relationship healthy? Why, or why not?
What are some relationships you depend on every day? Which relationships build you up? Which relationships tend to tear you down?
What does it look like to depend on Jesus like a branch depends on the vine?
Miss self-sufficient,
Miss keep your distance..."
Haven't heard those lyrics by Kelly Clarkson?
(Yeah, it's been awhile since she released that song in 2003.)
We probably know someone who thrives as an independent, I'll-do-it-my-way-thank-you-very-much kinda person... Most of the time, we tend to celebrate the self-made person, the independent thinker, the rise-to-the-top kind of hard worker... but is that the picture Jesus gave us in Scripture?
In John 15:5, Jesus defined our relationship **with Him** using one word—dependent.
He said, “I am the vine, and you are the branches. WITHout me, you can’t do anything.”
That’s a definitive statement—no lack of clarity there.
“In the same way a branch is useless without the vine, in the same way you’re useless apart from me.”
The branch springs from the vine,
the branch originates from the vine,
the branch receives life and sustenance from the vine.
The branch would not exist apart from the vine.
That’s the nature of our relationship **WITH** Jesus. We are utterly dependent upon Him.
Does that kind of relationship sound attractive? Is that something we desire?
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, we often see dependency as being unhealthy. The relationships where one person relies so heavily on another, resulting in a loss of their sense of identity and their ability to make their own decisions, are dangerous, aren’t they?
Dependent relationships aren’t necessarily bad; from their birth, children depend on their parents for food, clothing and shelter. Infants are absolutely helpless, and even into elementary ages, children are still in need of their parents for basic necessities of life. During the teen and adolescent years, parents teach their children how to become self-sufficient adults, but teens aren’t usually completely independent until they can make enough money to provide for their needs.
That’s the design—a good relationship finds infants, children, teens, and adolescents dependent on their families for many years.
What’s the difference between the bad-dependent relationship and the good-dependent kind of relationship?
Unhealthy dependent-relationships force us to find our identity in another fallen person (or people) and to make our decisions their way for their benefit or preference.
Oppositely, our parent-child relationship gives us identity, and makes decisions for us for our good, and offers us autonomy as we’re able to handle our own decisions…
Even more, our Christ-centered, Vine-and-the-Branches relationship acknowledges our human weakness, our brokenness, and offers us life, strength, and purpose in Jesus. In Him, the Vine, we not only find identity, belonging and purpose, but we also find power to accomplish more than we could ever imagine.
NO relationship on earth can offer what The Vine can offer us—not even our parents.
ASK THIS:
Do you know someone in a dependent relationship? Who depends upon whom in that relationship? Is that relationship healthy? Why, or why not?
What are some relationships you depend on every day? Which relationships build you up? Which relationships tend to tear you down?
What does it look like to depend on Jesus like a branch depends on the vine?